Every single person that labels themselves a ‘writer’ knows the illegitimacy of such a title for the world until the moment of inception – when their actual journey as a published writer starts. I can – thankfully – say that I have crossed that lofty, uneven and extremely difficult bridge that closes the gap between being an ‘unpublished writer’ to being a ‘published writer’.
As writers who have just started their craft, or who have been doing this for years but still haven’t reached contentment with the piece(s) that they’re working on, we all worry about the possibility of ever getting published, of ever coming across a publisher that wants to invest their money in our craft, someone who thinks that we’re good enough, someone who thinks that we have the potential to engage minds and unleash imaginations.
We worry every day.
But this worry doesn’t dissipate the moment that you get published – sadly.
If anything, after getting my first short story published I have become even more worrisome, frantic and a little scared about the future. What if this is the only piece of fiction that I will be able to offer to every single wondrous soul that reads my work on social media? What if this is it, and from hereon my creativity will just slowly die out because I have crossed that mountainous bridge and have achieved the rightful title of being a published writer? Does it all end now? My stories? My writing? My dream of becoming a novelist one day…
I’m not too sure. What I am sure of though, is this – being published/ unpublished does not make any difference to the amount of passion that you have towards your writing. It is not as if before being published I lacked a passion for writing that I gained after, nor is it the other way around where being published and getting one step closer to my dreams somehow trimmed the intensity with which I pride at writing.
It is none of these things. The fact is that I am a writer and one published piece is not enough to take those bountiful dreams of writing, creating and getting published away from me. Of course I worry. Everyone does. I’m worried when I think about the unfinished manuscript and how many hours, days, months and years it has taken me to get this far. I’m worried when I think about the possibility of never being able to finish it. I’m worried of not getting taken seriously when I finally do finish it. There are so many things that frighten me when I think about every hypnagogic dream of mine – each and every single one that sees my writing at centre stage.
But – as clichéd as the saying is – if your dreams don’t scare you, you should create new ones. I’m happy that my dreams scare me enough to fear the future. It means that I need to work hard enough to see the future that I want clearly. I’m also happy when I realise that one published piece doesn’t guarantee anything other than a little bit of self-satisfaction, it means that my dreams are so magnificent that I. Will. Have. To. Work. My. Butt. Off. To. Make. Them. Happen. And that’s absolutely fine by me.
So I will write. And write. And write. Until my writing touches corners of every single heart that beats for literature. Until my writing manifests itself beautifully inside the souls of my readers. Until my writing is felt and accepted. I will write.
And I hope that as I slowly tread on this journey of writing and stepping closer and closer towards my dreams, that you too will experience it with me and together we will make it come true.
It will happen. It will take time but I promise you, it will happen.
For those of you who haven’t purchased ‘From the Closet of the Heart’ yet, you can click here to buy the anthology and read my short story! For those of you who have read it, I would love to know what you think of it!
Sending love to you all x